In Which I Am The Lamest Person Ever

So today at the library I just really wasn't focusing. That's not to say I wasn't trying: I had given myself pep talks (so serious), I had my cup of hot tea (requisite in the LIBRARY OF ICE) and my classical music of choice; my highlighter and pen were poised and ready to continue reading...and as much as I wanted to focus on this article on Ovid's Fasti - nay, become ONE with this article on Ovid's Fasti - it just wasn't meant to be.

Generally when I can't focus I open my laptop and distract myself with The Magic of Internet. Oh, the Magic of Internet. However, in a cruel twist of irony, or just because I know myself too well, I had left my laptop at home this morning so that I would ACTUALLY read these articles on the Fasti. Luckily, however, there are computers tucked in every nook and cranny of the school library, so I didn't have to go far to get my fix (and yes - it is most definitely a "fix").

Once at the computer, I started checking my email accounts (personal, school, blog), and then I remembered that BEHOLD there is another email account I can check! Callie's!

That is right. Callie has an email account. She also has a facebook. Moral of the story: I must have been really bored one day. Slash, yes, I really am that embarrassing to the human race. ANYWAYS I never check Callie's email account, because, well, it's Callie's email account, and as a canine, she only receives so much email. Today, however, I realized that although she has received emails, she has never sent an email. Those pesky opposable thumbs.

The opportunity was just too delicious to be missed. So, without further ado, let it be henceforth known that today, I sent Preston an email from Callie. Which on the one hand made me feel like the lamest person EVER. But on the other hand, it also really made me laugh. I laughed the whole time I was writing it, and Preston laughed when he received it. And doesn't that really matter more than looking lame on the internet? Clearly I think the correct answer is YES. And if you disagree, that's your prerogative. I promise I will not be this lame forever. AND I will have you know that I finished not only the original article, but also three more. BOO-YAH.

Here is the text in its entirety.

Hi The Tall One,

I just wanted to say hey. I've had a pretty good day so far. Done some sleeping, a little bit of walking around The Annoying One's crate, making her totally jealous that she's in there and I'm out here. It feels divine. I haven't eaten anything (obvi) because eating is just sooooo plebeian. Although The Annoying One did eat some of my breakfast when The Short One went to go make her tea this morning, so you might want to supplement my bowl with a quarter or half of a scoop. Just a suggestion.

I have a feeling that The Short One is wanting to avoid her homework SO MUCH that she is trying to think of really, really creative ways to accomplish that at the library. Just a feeling I have. Or something.

Anyways, I can't wait to see you for our WALK! this afternoon. That is definitely the best part of my mid-afternoon routine. I mean honestly, WHAT is more fun than finding 38 places to pee in a half a mile circuit and being indecisive about pooping as cars zoom past me? I might be scared of rain and/or the air, but cars whizzing past me at breakneck speeds while I take a crap? CHILD'S PLAY.

I'm pretty sure that tomorrow's the day when you and The Short One don't abandon us all day, so that's pretty awesome. And hey, if you could kick The Annoying One off of the bed sometimes, that would be sweet. Because I really, really like to cuddle. No one cuddled me for a long time, and you and The Short One are really good at it. I love you guys.

Sending lots of paws (but not licks, because I know you don't like them, and unlike The Annoying One, I pick up on subtleties like this one),

Callie

PS-You cannot divorce The Short One because she sends lame emails like this one, ok? Thx.