UGH

Today is, in my opinion, that most dreaded of days: the Monday after Spring Break. There is very little that could possibly redeem this day. After a good, but exhausting, week at home, a stressful drive up, a play in the city, house guests for Saturday night, and frantic wedding planning yesterday, I can think of approximately 8,985,986,907 things that I would rather be doing than Greek/Latin/school. Highest on the list is, per usual, sleep. Alas, if I go back to sleep, there is a chance I might never wake up, so I resorted to the next best thing: eating breakfast and blogging.

My cynical choice for the quote of the week is from Mark Twain, and essentially sums up how I'm feeling about school at the moment. I think, that at the end of May, after I'm papered and examined and married, and have had a bit of time to rest and reflect, I'll be glad that I took this graduate level Latin class. At the moment, however, when papers and exams and a wedding loom ominously over my head at all times, I'm not very glad that I'm taking this graduate level Latin class. In fact, I'm seriously, seriously regretting my decision to take this class.

Before I launch into my personal vendetta against the class (really, actually, against my decision to take the class), let me share the good things about the class. Firstly, we're reading Vergil, so it just doesn't get much better than that. I fell in love with Vergil in high school, and he just gets better and better with each read. Plus, the Aeneid is just wonderful. Secondly, we're talking a lot about intertextuality, which is something I'm really interested in pursuing in graduate school. So the class has served has a good introduction to that. Thirdly, the professor and the students are fantastic: thoughtful, nice, patient, and really, really brilliant. I find that I actually really enjoy class itself, once I'm there. It's just the days leading up to class that I h a t e.

OK. Here are the cons of the class. As the only non-graduate student, even though I prepare thoroughly for class, I consistently feel that I am at the bottom. I've found that this does two things: firstly, it humbles me, and reminds me that I have vast oceans of learning to do in graduate school; secondly, it makes me want to crawl into a hole and die. It also makes me stress out about class ALL week. There is a brief respite from the stress on Thursday afternoon after class is over for the week, but come Friday mid-morning, I can feel anxiety about next week's class already festering in the back of my mind.

However, I have to wonder: am I just choosing this class to be the focal point of my anxiety? That is, am I just a naturally anxious person who will use anything moderately stress-inducing as an excuse to stress out in a major way?

SIGH. I don't know. All I do know is that I am feeling thoroughly exhausted with the world right now, and have zero desire to take the train into the city and do my Greek and go to class. I'm sorry for such a whiny post. Especially after it's been so so so long after I've posted anything of substance. However, this is weighing on my mind, and I just needed to vent. I want today to be over. Probably a bad sign at 9:30 in the morning.