Eleven Weeks

(If you haven't read Monday's post, I'd read that first)

I've seen this format on several blogs, and think that it's a great way to keep track of various milestones. So! Here we go. I am so stoked to be at week eleven. Just a couple of weeks and I will be OUT of the first trimester purgatory. Hallelujiah.

How far along? Eleven weeks.

How big is the baby? The size of a small lemon or a large lime. Considering that he was the size of a period at the end of a sentence when my last ultrasound was taken, now he's practically human! He's now a real, live fetus (as opposed to an embryo) with non-webbed fingers and toes.

Total Weight Gain: With the support of my OB, my therapist, and Preston, I have decided not to keep track of my weight gain during this pregnancy. I don't own a scale (well, actually I do, but it's broken), and when I'm weighed at the doctor's office, I turn around so that I can't see the number. I can feel myself gaining weight, but don't think it's smart for me to know the number. My feeling is that my body knows what to do - I will gain exactly as much weight as this baby needs, and it will be fine. And when the time comes to lose it, I will. My body's been remarkably resilient over the years, and I trust it to carry me through this pregnancy in a healthy way. I know that right now I can still fit into my favorite jeans, but that I am way too bloated to wear a form-fitting top. That's good enough for me. Weight aside, though, I will be taking belly pictures throughout the pregnancy. Here are (some pretty terrible) ones from today:

So that was a pretty weak effort on my part. I'll do better next week. Maybe I'll even wash my hair so that I can include my FACE. Anyways, I told you - I don't look pregnant, just like I've eaten too much crap and stopped exercising (a conclusion which would not be that far off...). However, just to eliminate any doubts that I am bloated enough to serve as a flotation device, I offer you the following picture:

See that? That is my pants BARELY buttoning and zipping shut. Sigh.

Stretch marks? Listen, if you go up a cup size in about .25 seconds, I DARE you not to have stretch marks (and, um, if you didn't have boob stretch marks during pregnancy, then please don't tell me). None on my stomach (yet...).

Sleep? Is my new favorite activity. My energy level has risen significantly over the last week or so - as in, I no longer must sleep for ten hours a night AND take a two hour nap. It is divine. Seriously you guys - for the last six weeks I've been ready for bed at 6:00 pm. It's been all I can do to stay up till 8:30. These days, however, I'm staying up later, but I wake up at least once a night to pee and/or lie awake for an hour feeling nauseous. It's awesome. 

Maternity Clothes? None yet, but I have a feeling I'm going to need at least a Bella Band sooner rather than later, because HELLO MUFFIN TOP. Also, I am in desperate need of some new bras.

Movement? Nope, and I won't feel any for a while. I'm just trusting that Fake Baby (that's our terrible nickname for the baby) is moving his little lemon-sized body somewhere deep inside my uterus.

Food Cravings? Cheese, cheese, ALL THINGS CHEESE, grapes, and dry cereal (Preferably shredded wheat. Not Rice-Krispies). Other than that, it varies from day to day. I've only had a couple of really strong cravings so far - one night I HAD to have Wendy's chicken nuggets (which I haven't had in ages), another night I wanted a burger, one afternoon I needed a Greek salad IMMEDIATELY, and at the airport on Monday I thought I might die if I didn't have a chicken salad sandwich (again, WTF - I haven't eaten chicken salad in ages) right. that. minute. It's completely unpredictable.

Food Aversions? In general, preparing food has become my least favorite activity ever. If it's more complicated than pouring cereal into a bowl or throwing a couple of slices of cheese in between two slices of bread, I'm out. I'm not loving vegetables, especially broccoli (my former favorite), and apples and yogurt aren't as appealing as they used to be. So basically, everything healthy! Well done, Mary Frances. I've been trying to get my veggies in by making massive batches of this vegetable soup (with extra spinach and tomatoes) every other week to take for lunch. That way I eat more vegetables, and I only have to smell onions cooking once every fourteen days. I'm also not drinking anything hot in the morning for the first time in seven years. Instead, I want ice-cold water. I'm ok ordering hot tea or coffee at a coffee shop, but the thought of making either at home is deeply unattractive.

What I Miss: I miss being able to control my body. I know, I know. I should have been prepared for this. But, um, I wasn't. I was certainly not prepared to feel this...fat. And I know I'm not fat, but I hate feeling uncomfortable in my clothing. I hate that even after I work out (which is rare enough these days...), I can't get my stomach to tighten in the way that I used to be able. OK. Body image rant over. I also miss feeling well - I've felt sick/meh/exhausted/not-like-myself since the beginning of September, and it's getting old. {Obviously, of course, NONE of this matters as long as the baby is ok - I'm just whiny.}

What I'm Looking Forward to: Our ultrasound on November 12, when we will hopefully see a baby and not a blob. I'm also looking forward to feeling more secure in this pregnancy, but I honestly don't know when/if that will happen.

Milestones: Hearing the heartbeat last Monday was a huge milestone - once you've heard the heartbeat around week ten, the chance of miscarriage drops dramatically (as in, it drops to between 5 and 7%).

Oh, and THIS: My whole face has broken out like it's 1999 (literally - I was probably about as hormonal in 1999 as I am now), my hair is thicker but not shinier, my clothes don't fit like they used to fit, and I'm just feeling really ugly. I'm hoping that some new bras and a (much-needed) haircut will help me feel less like an awkward fourteen year-old.

On an unrelated note: I've been writing letters to the baby every ten days or so for the last six weeks, and I will be publishing the archived ones throughout the rest of this week. They are kind of ridiculous, but it's how I kept track of my early weeks of pregnancy, so onto the internet they go.