Sixteen Weeks

Are you there, internet?  It's me, Mary Frances.

So clearly I took the "vacation" part of "Thanksgiving vacation" very seriously.  You guys.  It was the best Thanksgiving I have had in the history of ever.  And do you want to know why?  Well, there are several reasons.  Firstly, Preston and I slept SO. MUCH.  It was delicious (even more delicious than the food).  Secondly, we didn't have to pack up the dogs, drive to and from Virginia, and see a boatload of relatives in the space of seventy-two hours.  Awesome.  And thirdly, we could do WHATEVER WE WANTED.  The only place we had to be between Wednesday and Sunday was at Jenna's at 7:30 on Thanksgiving for pie with her family (and that was definitely worth leaving the house).

I didn't do a fifteen week update last week because, um, I just didn't feel like it.  I spent all day at the library (vacation was not all fun and games) and just, meh.  I was tired and felt like I would probably be saying the same things over and over again: the baby is the size of a small piece of fruit, I hate my enormous chest, and my appetite thinks I am eating for EIGHT.  Blah, blah, blah.  We've heard it all before.

So I skipped it.  But now I'm back!  For week sixteen!  Meaning that I am - wait for it - four months pregnant.  BOOYAH.  Here we go.

How Big is the Baby?  The size of an avocado.  He/she looks like this in utero.

Total Weight Gain: My upper arms and my boobs have converged to form one enormous arm boob on each side of my body.  It is terrifying.  Definitely the body part that's making me the most anxious (no matter how much Pilates-with-weights I do, I simply cannot keep my arms toned.  Garumph).

Belly Update:  This is what it looks like when I stand up straight and tighten my "abs."  In quotes because, really?  Are they still abs?  I'm not so sure...

And here's what it looks like when I have bad posture and exhale:

Also, I did wear real people clothes for the better part of the day.  I just got home and changed.

Stretch Marks?  Y'all, I have a feeling I'm going to be covered in stretch marks.  I've spent the last six years losing and gaining weight (with about a forty-pound variable - which, I assure you, at 5'1" is A LOT), and I already have plenty, so I'm pretty sure that pregnancy will bring ONE BAJILLION more. 

Maternity Clothes?  Still rubber-banding my jeans shut and Bella Banding my dress pants shut.  Also, I have officially retired my skinniest pair of jeans.  I put them on the other day and basically lost circulation from my waist down.  Not ok.  Maternity shirts occasionally. 

Movement?  I *might* have felt a little flutter in bed the other night, but it was so small that I'm not sure.  I think it was probably just gas (yes, I am full of gas, and NO, I do not want to talk about it). 

Food Cravings?  So the weekend before last I met up for breakfast with my friend Mary in New York.  I ordered an everything bagel with cream cheese and tomatoes that was approximately the size of my head.  And it was YUM.  So the next day, when I was back in Bryn Mawr and left alone for dinner (Preston had a soccer team dinner), I found that all I wanted to eat in the ENTIRE WORLD was an everything bagel with cream cheese and tomatoes.  So, naturally, I threw my coat over my pajamas, drove to the grocery store, and picked up everything bagels, cream cheese, and tomatoes.  And I ate that meal multiple times a day every day until I ran out of tomatoes.  It was SO GOOD. 

What I miss:  Welcome the the vanity edition!  I miss my waist and my collarbone.  I also hate having to trim my nails every other second.  Or, more precisely, forgetting to trim my nails and then getting to the library to work on a paper and having my nails 'click' against the keys in a way that makes me slowly go insane ALL FREAKING DAY.


What I'm looking forward to:  Movement!  Also, looking more pregnant and less chubby.


Dogs:  Are still clingy and in need of attention, attention, so much attention, but are no longer acting completely crazypants.


Milestones:  More and more people are finding out, which is really fun.  When I told one of my professors at Bryn Mawr yesterday (after he asked me if I was defending my thesis this week...um NO), he smiled and said, "Well that's marvelous!"  More people at work know, but my students have no idea.  I'll be excited when they figure it out.


Oh, and THIS:  So it turns out pregnancy produces a LOT of nose stuffiness (high levels of estrogen and progesterone bring both increased blood flow - I am thirsty ALL THE TIME - and swollen mucus membranes).  My body is producing all kinds of extra mucus to keep infections at bay.  Which, you know, I appreciate, but being consistently stuffed up and using up all our tissues is getting old.  And...apparently this stuffiness only worsens over the course of pregnancy.  So I'm in for many more months of fun.  Excellent.