22 Weeks

How Big is the Baby?  She's eleven inches and almost one pound. According to the wide world of internet, she finally looks like a tiny human (as opposed to a tadpole, alien, etc.). She still has a lot of growing to do, but she's getting there. Here's what she looks like inside of me.


Total Weight Gain? I'm feeling more and more like a gnome every day. I just feel larger everywhere - in my face, in my arms (WOE, my arms), in my butt/thighs, in my chest (adhjashd), in my stomach (obviously)...just everywhere. I've started groaning a lot more when I move (so much so that Preston had to ask me if I was ok the other day), and my back is beginning to hurt from the weight gain - both of which make me REALLY nervous for what I'm going to feel like in a few months. Eek.


Belly Update: It's definitely there! And unavoidable. My belly button hasn't quite popped out yet, but I can tell that it's about to do so.

Maternity Clothes? I finally caved and bought maternity jeans, and OH MY GOSH THEY ARE THE GREATEST THING EVER (and yes, caps lock IS entirely necessary). I also bought two pairs of maternity dress pants for work, but because they need to be hemmed before I wear them (the woes of being short), I consequently just haven't worn them. Clearly the best solution. AHEM. I really do need to get on that, though, because wearing tights/pantyhose/leggings with dresses and skirts to work is getting a) old, b) uncomfortable (they're just too tight around my midsection), and c) impractical (it is four degrees outside).


Movement? Yes! I can feel her moving around after I eat and when I'm lying in bed at night and in the morning. It's both bizarre and completely wonderful.


Food Cravings: SALT in all its deliciousness. So much so that when the nurse took my blood pressure today I was actually kind of nervous that it would be crazy high (it wasn't, though I honestly don't remember what it was; she said it was 'perfect' and that's really all I heard.  Oops.). I'm not really craving any one specific food, though - just LOTS of food in general. I can't eat a lot in one sitting, but two hours after I have a large-ish snack I am STARVING again.  This results in a lot of crumbs falling down my shirt and into my bra, making me feel really classy and awesome.  NOT.


What I Miss: Oy.  Here comes the flood.  I miss having control over my emotions.  I have continued to take Prozac throughout my pregnancy (with the support of my doctors, of course), but lately, in spite of my medication, I just have NOT been able to hold it together.  I am moodier than a teenager in love (which I think we all know is WAY moody), and it is getting old. A couple of days ago I was taking the elevator back up to our apartment, and my neighbor and her young son hopped in beside me.  I was carrying four pretty heavy grocery bags, and she was (gently) telling me that I shouldn't be lifting that much.  She told me I needed to make sure I took care of myself, because that was all that mattered.  And y'all.  With that simple sentence, I LOST it.  My chin started quivering, my face became flushed, and by the time we'd left the elevator I was crying.  When my neighbor gave me a hug outside my apartment I LOST it.  We're talking great heaving sobs.  And when she came by to check on me later I lost it AGAIN.  It had been a difficult week (more on that later), but I have just found myself crying much more frequently than usual.  Also, my ability to go from zero to bitch in no time flat is at an all time high (lucky Preston!).    


Milestones: My students finally asked me if I was pregnant!  Two girls came up after class and timidly said, "Mrs. B?  We have a question.  Um, some of the upper schoolers told us that you were pregnant, and, um, we were wondering if that was true?"  When I answered in the affirmative, their voices raised about two octaves and there was much jumping up and down, and "Oh my gosh, really?" and "Wait, is she?" from their classmates.  I told them that I wouldn't ever have denied it (I started teaching them well into my second trimester), but that I simply wasn't going to bring it up with them.  Seeing their excitement was really touching (not to mention an instant mood-lifter).

And, of course our other milestone is that we found out that Fake Baby is a girl!  I will write more about Baby B's female-ness in another post, but right now I'm cranky and tired and don't really want to write anything else (hello, pregnancy candor!).


Oh, and THIS: Since I've started looking pregnant/more people have learned about my pregnancy, I have (obviously) received more comments on the pregnancy.  Some of them have been awesome, and some of them have been less awesome.  Mostly I just really appreciate the good comments and try to laugh away the bad ones.  Though if anyone tells me "just you wait" one more time (i.e. implying that my life is going to be SO MUCH WORSE when the baby arrives), I might actually go insane.

Please say this to a pregnant person:
"Did you know she's five months pregnant?" "Really (looking me up and down)? Well you still look really skinny." I love you MOST OF ALL.


"You look great! Where are you hiding your baby?"

"Wait, are those maternity jeans? You can't even tell!"

"You are going to be such a great Mom. This baby is really lucky."

"May is a wonderful time to have a baby - and you and Preston will be almost done with school. Perfect!"

Please do not say this to a pregnant person:
"Well you're definitely at the best point right now. It's all downhill from here."  And a GOOD DAY to you too.


[if talking to someone who's going to have a baby in May] "Well May is nice, but then June and July get so hot that you really just can't even take the baby outside. I hope you have air-conditioning." Oh, May's not a good month? Well I'll just tell her to stay put until a better season arrives. I'm sure that will work out really well for both of us. Also, we don't have air-conditioning - yay!


"You need to be walking two miles every day. If you don't do that you'll be in trouble." Well then apparently I'm in trouble.  


"You're applying for jobs for the fall (incredulously)? Then WHO is going to watch this baby?" Gee, I don't know!  Hopefully Callie and Ness will be good baby-sitters.  FINGERS CROSSED!


[if talking to someone who's having a girl] "Well, don't worry. She can still wear blue." I'm not worried about what freaking colors our daughter will wear, but thanks for your lack of excitement about our daughter.  That really helps my anxiety.


*Moral of the story: people say crazy things, and at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter.  We know that our daughter will be loved, and that in four months we'll have the privilege of becoming her parents.  That's what counts.*