I Foresee Trouble On The Playground

Let me preface this post by saying that I am NOT even in the slightest bit pregnant. Children are really not anywhere on our radar, given that I still have many moons of school left and Preston...well Preston just wants us to make responsible decisions like "save money" and "become functioning adults." Pish. However, when we do decide that children are on our radar, I can promise, dear internet, that you will know about it before our mothers. I'm just saying.

ANYWAYS so Preston, the other night, came upon this website called Morph Thing. I think the idea is to merge faces of gorgeous celebrities so that the result is a face that is not gorgeous, but SUPER SUPER HOT. There is also the option, however, of uploading your own photos and morphing them. To which I said, "Ooh ooh! Let's upload pictures of us and then we can see what our kids will look like!"

And so we uploaded them, and discovered what our kids would look like if they emerged from the womb as HALF TROLL HALF TRANSVESTITE. And that is not an exaggeration. Instead of being horrified (and, believe me, these photos are pretty horrifying), however, we erupted in uncontrollable laughter. I started crying I was laughing so hard at this terrible, terrible combination of the two of us. We morphed three photos, and there are several problems with all three of them (aside, you know, from the fact that our children via Morph Thing look like cross-dressing trolls), since, as the program merges two faces, both people have to be looking at the camera with essentially the same expression.

For example, since Preston smiles with his mouth closed and I with my mouth open, our Morph Thing children have really creepy translucent/rotting teeth. Our Morph Thing Children are also suffering from some serious hair discrepancies: Preston has bangs-ish, and I just have cowlicks. Sometimes they have four ears, and sometimes they're only wearing one earring. Often their necks appear to be of the giraffe variety. And I think that all of them look mostly like some scary version of Preston with my dominant brown eyes and the occasional earring.

At any rate, let's hope that, when the time comes, Mother Nature/God/all that is Good and Holy and RIGHT IN THE WORLD does a better job than Morph Thing. So, without further ado, here are our fugly fake children, for your viewing pleasure:

It could be bad, internet. It could be really bad.