Hey, Lenny

Ever since we got our brand! new! phones! Preston and I have basically kept them on our person at all times. They are like our own personal barnacles, minus the grossness.

So yesterday morning I went to the grocery store and, after lugging all of our food for the week across the parking lot, into the elevator, and down our very un-air-conditioned hallway, I quickly slung down my purse, put everything away, refilled my water bottle, and came into the study, where I sat directly in front of the air-conditioner until even my hair felt cold.

Meanwhile, Preston was getting ready to go play his usual Sunday baseball games. So while Preston was scrambling to get dressed and wolf down a bowl of cereal before he left for the day, I was sitting in the study and trying to become one with the air-conditioner. I'm really helpful that way.

After Preston left, I basically did not move from the desk. I worked a little bit on my thesis, replied to some emails, and wandered around the internet, all while wrapped in the deliciously cool air of the study. I should also note that when our air-conditioners are on (they're all window units), Preston and I can both claim partial deafness because holy goodness, they are really loud. Seriously - you know how when, the morning after a really loud concert, show, etc., your ears start ringing because, wait? Where did all the noise go? Yes. That's how it is whenever we leave the apartment.

So anyways, there I am, making myself at home in our wind tunnel, when suddenly our front door bursts open, and in comes Preston, red-faced and out-of breath. "I forgot my baseball bag," he says, before grabbing something out of the corner and flying back out the door and down the hall.

As he left, I thought, "Man, that's annoying. I'm surprised he didn't call me - I could have met him downstairs and saved him the time and energy of sprinting up three very un-air-conditioned flights of stairs and down one very un-air-conditioned hallway." And then, as I looked around the study, I realized that my phone was nowhere to be seen, and a wave of genuine panic shot through me. WHERE WAS MY HOT PINK PHONE? I checked the charger in the bedroom, looked on all the shelves in the den, and then - behold - remembered that, in my sweattastic frustration this morning, I had left my purse in the kitchen.

When I found my phone, safely sequestered away in my purse, sure enough, I had missed calls from Preston. I felt awful and called him back right away, hoping to catch him in between an inning or something.

I left him the following message:

"Hey, lovey. I'm sorry I missed your call. I'm really sorry. I'm assuming it was about your bag. I was in the study, and my phone was in the kitchen. Anyways, I'm really sorry. I hope you're having a great game, and I'll talk to you soon. Love you. Bye."

As it turns out, however, Preston had signed up for Google Voice the day before, meaning that, from now on, all of his voicemails will be transcribed and sent to him via email. So before he got my voicemail after his game yesterday afternoon, he received this email, a transcription of the voicemail I'd left him at 10:32 AM that morning:

Hey, Lenny. I'm sorry I missed your call. I'm. I'm really really sorry. I'm assuming that was about your bag. I'm. I was in the study on my phone in the kitchen, anyway. I'm really sorry. I hope you're having a great game and I'll talk to you soon. Love you bye."

Mostly, of course, this is really impressive. I mean, wow, Google. You basically rock. However, when Preston and I read this - an almost perfect transcription of a probably not-very-clear voicemail - our first reaction was to laugh at the mistakes. In our defense, however, they are awesome. Other than the "Hey Lenny" for "Hey, lovey" - which is probably my favorite mistake of all time - I also love how I'm in the study while on the phone, yet also in the kitchen. I mean, for real. The ability to be in two places at once? That is even cooler than Google Voice.