Dehydration What?

I'm pretty sure that, right now, I could be a "what not to do" model in a video on avoiding dehydration. As I sit here, in our sweltering, jungle-like apartment, with my laptop perched on my knees (with a lap desk in between so that I don't DIE of all the heat), I can feel the sweat running down every crease of my freshly-showered, and yet already smelly body. We're talking under-boob sweat. NOT OK. After eating about four cups of yogurt this morning (to hopefully remedy a supremely unpleasant side effect of the antibiotics I'm taking), I just ate a tasty lunch of broccoli, to which I added both soy sauce AND salt. I will probably die of over-consumption of sodium. Not to mention that it was FROZEN broccoli, so even less good for me. After all that salt, I wanted something to quench my thirst, and why drink water when I could have a nice, cold Diet Dr. Pepper, further sucking the moisture from my body? And now I'm going to lie by the pool with one of my friends, so that I will probably return to Preston tonight as a burnt, shriveled raisin slightly resembling the woman formerly known as his wife.

My real question is HOW ON EARTH did we make it through the end of August (not to mention moving and unpacking and rearranging and NOT KILLING EACH OTHER) with air conditioning only in the bedroom? My theory is that our apartment was so ridiculously hot that all the overheating killed our brain cells and made us forget that we ever lived in such misery.

I was cooking in the kitchen the other night--which was about as pleasant as sticking my head into a burning oven, and then deciding it felt so good, why not put my whole body in as well?--and with food on two burners, the oven on 400 degrees, and washing dishes in hot water, I made the executive decision (with the help of Ashley and Blake, our wonderful houseguests who deserve to be knighted for sleeping in our unairconditioned den) that we are going to BJ's ASAP to get an air conditioning unit for the kitchen. Or else we are going to be eating a WHOLE lot of prepackaged, refrigerated food on paper plates. Not that we don't already eat a lot of prepackaged, refrigerated food, but it does make me feel marginally more healthy to put it in a pot on the stove, and eat it on real, big kid plates.

Anyways, I digress. I really am off to go lay by the pool and turn into a raisin. But I promise I'll wear sunscreen. And take a big Nalgene full of Crystal Light (because GOD FORBID I drink pure, unadulterated water). Cheers!