ANYWAYS, to the point. Last week my mother-in-law said something to my mother that really upset her and has now upset me, because, as I've learned from my phone conversation with my mother today, last week my mother-in-law completely twisted my words and made me out to be a mother-hating bitch. OK that's an exaggeration. She made me out to be a sniveling, gossipy bitch. Still an exaggeration. She embellished my words in a way that made me sound callous and disrespectful to both my mother and my maternal grandmother. NOT an exaggeration.
So internet, here's where you come in. I seriously need your help. WHAT SHOULD I DO? As I see it, here are my options: a) suck it up and ignore it, b) email both of them and act as a sort of mediator/blame myself, c) call my mother-in-law and talk everything out. I NEED YOUR HELP. I need your sage advice, your suggestions, your pixie dust. I NEED IT ALL. Even if you've never commented before, please de-lurk and tell me what to do. I am SO SERIOUS.
Love,
Mary Frances, who is not a mother-hating bitch, just a frustrated daughter and daughter-in-law. SIGH.
Oh, dear. Um...I would first talk with your mom (if you haven't already) and explain where the miscommunication happened, but be REALLY REALLY careful to phrase it as just that, a miscommunication, rather than a hostile act on anyone's part. Then I would call MIL (scary though she is) and talk with her about it--something like, "I wanted to talk with you about a comment you made to my mom--I'm not sure how it happened, but I think you really misinterpreted something I said, and I wanted to both ask you how that came about and clear up any misconceptions." Knowing your mother-in-law, I think she's both someone who's prone to offhand statements that can be potentially hurtful, and a fundamentally just and kind person. Good luck!
ReplyDeletei've already talked with my mom--it's all smoothed over with her. i just have to deal with the MIL half of it. so THANK YOU for your sage advice!!! i really, really appreciate it.
ReplyDelete::sprinklesprinklesprinkle::
ReplyDeleteThat's me sprinkling pixie dust...
Because that's about the best I can offer.
My MIL and I are not very close, and I've tried to get there, but it's just. not. happening.
I don't know how to make things better with her, so I can't very well recommend anything for you.
But good luck!! :)
Hm well obviously I don't know anything about in-laws... but what Mary said up above sounds like a good plan to me.
ReplyDelete*pixie dust*
xoxoxo
Oh MFB. Unfortunately with your mother in law a direct approach is the best approach. Just ask to say your peace before she responds. Which will be the hard part but have a glass of wine (or several) before giving her a call. I'm sorry you're in this situation but I hope all three of you fantastic(albeit different :) ) ladies grow from it in the future! Good luck my dear.
ReplyDeleteGather up your Mom and MIL (aka BIG G), throw them into a gladiator ring to duke it out and sell tickets to the rest of us. I'll bring the boxed wine if you bring a camera to capture the whole astounding event. Let's do this violently and completely over-the-top instead of politely please.
ReplyDelete