A Long December

Is what I'm in for. I have a presentation Tuesday, my last Greek class Thursday, my first 25-30 page paper due December 15 and my second due December 31. So, somewhere in between this Tuesday and December 31, I need to buy and wrap presents, bake cookies, make hard egg nog from scratch, host a fabulous holiday soirée for the grad students, listen to Christmas carols, read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, finish decorating our apartment, take a Christmas picture with Pres and the dogs, make said Christmas picture into a Christmas card, mail said card to family and friends, become an elf, watch Elf, listen to Lessons and Carols, go to church, light a candle, hug my family on Christmas Eve, make stockings for Callie and Ness, wake up with my IN LAWS on Christmas morning (Preston has custody of Christmas this year), eat delicious food, and, finally, kiss Preston on our sixth anniversary, December 31st (our 'dating' anniversary).

It is one of the cruel tradeoffs of academia that final papers, exams, and general awfulness coincide with the holiday season. Most of the time, I really love the academic schedule, and, after eighteen years as a student, have grown accustomed to its rhythms. But no matter how I plan, no matter how far in advance I work, December always seems to bite me in the ass [read: I return from Thanksgiving and think HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL why do I have SO MUCH WORK TO DO in SO LITTLE TIME?!?!?]. Without fail, I'm always swept up in a whirlwind of papers and thoughts and exams and meetings that leaves me sleep-deprived and cranky, living in the library sustained by Luna Bars and coffee. Gross. Sadly, this December promises to be no different. Having made significant progress on neither of my papers, to say I am overwhelmed would be an understatement. I'm consumed with anxiety about school--I'm worried about failing, about staying up too late, about not handling my stress well, about crying during my presentation this Tuesday (a real possibility), and, most of all, about disappointing my professors and myself.

Yet, for the first time, I think, I'm able to look past the anxiety, at least as far as to know that, on December 31st, I will have finished everything. Without a doubt, it IS going to be a long December. I'm sure I won't cook as much as I'd like, shower as much as I'd like (in the spirit of honesty), and have 'nights off' as much as I'd like. BUT it will ALL get done. And on December 31st, it will BE done, and (assuming that we follow our tradition of not doing anything thrilling on New Year's Eve) when Preston and I are sitting on our couch in Bryn Mawr, watching the ball drop with the pups, drinking cheap champagne and eating homemade pizza (this is my prediction), I want to be able to breathe, smile, relax, and remember December 2008 as more than a paper writing frenzy.

So with that, here we go. Fingers crossed.