In Flux

This fall has been, more than anything, about change. We're married. As in really, officially, he calls me his wife and people call me MRS. B. married. We have two dogs instead of fun...I mean...one. Preston started teaching a new subject at school and joined a men's Fall League Baseball Team. I started running seriously again. I began my first year as a graduate student at a new school. So yes. We've just been chock full of changes around here.

And I don't even really know what I want to say about the fact that I feel like my entire life is in flux right now and how that is as exciting as it is terrifying. I could tell you that it is FANTASTIC and even though I have no free time, it's OK because I LOVE what I do and having a puppy and being a newlywed oh so much that it doesn't even matter that I have no free time to eat, sleep, or straighten my hair (um, if you didn't already know I was vain, we should have a talk...because I am). Alternately, I could tell you that it SUCKS because I hate what I do and having a puppy who eats her ears and mine and having a husband who has dirty socks and dirty dishes and dirty everything that I should be cleaning up because I am female and therefore have some guilt gene programed into my system that says HELLO! I SEE YOU HAVE SOME FREE TIME, YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY CLEAN THE WHOLE APARTMENT.

But neither of those statements would be fair. Sure, being super busy let's go all the time right here right now is exhausting, but isn't that the way I always plan my life? Isn't that the way I've always planned my life? I love the structured feeling of a packed schedule, the action of a day brimming with activity. So I'm trying, with all of my heart, to enjoy this time of change change so much change, instead of feeling like I'm just in completely over my head.

As I was walking through campus a week or two ago, I realized that although I always remember how stunning the leaves look after they've changed in autumn, I never notice them while they're changing. So this year I've paid closer attention and have tried to see the beauty in the changing, as opposed to the changed. And wouldn't you know, it's rather lovely.