This Week: The Bad

• We have a slow leak in our back left tire, but because both of us are too cheap/lazy to buy a new, functional tire, we just keep filling it up (Preston has a small electric pump) enough to drive it to the gas station, where we fill it up fully, drive back home, proceed to forget that the tire has a slow leak, only to walk down within a week or two and see BOO we are stranded/why do we continue to avoid dealing with this problem?
• Ness has been sick since Wednesday night, when she vomited and had diarrhea in her crate. LOVELY. By Thursday night, this had turned into full fledged, explosive diarrhea (you're welcome!), and on Friday, as I was just about to leave to take the French exam, I realized that our apartment smelled suspiciously of AWFULNESS. [I would like to take a pause here to point out that Preston and I own very few expensive items. I'd say 80% of our apartment is from our parents' attics, thrift stores, or Target. The nicest things we have in our apartment are the bed his grandmother gave us when we moved in together (because she is probably the coolest lady I know) and the oriental rug his parents got us for our wedding. Both are much fancier than we are.] So naturally, I walk into the den, and where has Ness had her explosive VERY LIQUID-Y diarrhea, but ALL OVER the oriental rug. This was not an isolated pile of poop. Oh no--she had clearly walked while pooping/exploding from the back left corner of the rug to the front right corner. This discovery led to conflicting emotions: on the one hand I was furious because SERIOUSLY we have linoleum, and even wood floors you could have pooped on, and on the other hand I was really worried because MY BABY what's wrong?? Luckily, thanks to a chicken and rice diet, I think she's better now. But just for future reference: cleaning up explosive diarrhea: NOT FUN. Also: kind of hard.
• I found out on Thursday that I have another 5-8 page paper due the week after Spring Break, which means I will spend my "Spring Break" (I use the term very loosely) writing two 5-8 page papers and composing an outline with annotated bibliography for my final Greek paper. G-R-O-S-S.
• After my professor mentioned this 5-8 page paper, I realized that I need to start thinking about my final papers, um, yesterday. Upon this realization I went from zero to SHEER PANIC in approximately .2 seconds.
• It's that time of the month when even I were in the middle of a Master Cleanse, it would still look as though I might possibly/definitely be carrying triplets. Seriously. I looked in the mirror one day this week and almost wished that I were actually pregnant, because then at least I could blame my stomach on the MIRACLE OF LIFE and not, you know, water retention (or that bag of chocolate chips, whatever).
• Preston and I have been so exhausted this week that we haven't cooked dinner together at all, and really haven't even spent any time together. Which I'm kind of embarrassed to admit given that we're, you know, married, but...it just happens. And if it doesn't ever happen in your relationship/marriage, then please, TELL ME YOUR SECRET.