More Than You Ever Wanted To Know

Because everyone enjoys a good life story! Plus I really don't want to finish my Latin homework. So here goes my timeline (i.e. more than you will ever want to know about me).

1985: I am born! My Mom decides to name me Mary Frances, after her mother. My Mom's family only uses three names: Mary, Frances, or Anne. Ok so that's a slight exaggeration, but only slight: my grandmother and I are Mary Frances, my Mom is Frances, my aunt is Mary Anne, and my great-grandmother was Annie Mae. I will probably spontaneously burst into flames when I break the news to my mother's family that I intend on naming none of my children Mary, Frances, or Anne. Also, I will curse none of my children with a double name (that way, none of them will ever have to do THIS at the beginning of every school year: "Actually, it's not Mary...it's Mary Frances. I go by both names").

1986-1987: I have no recollection of my blissful two and a half years as an only child. Sigh.

1988: I have a brother! Jeffrey is born in January and is the opposite of me, just to keep my Mom on her toes.

1989: I watch a lot of Sesame Street. I think.

1990: I begin kindergarten at St. Catherine's School (all girls) in Richmond, Virginia. I have an obsession with anything pink/princess/ballet related and refuse to wear anything other than skirts/dresses. When I get the tragic news that I MUST wear either shorts or pants for P.E., I compromise with the system and wear the same pair of pink culottes every time I have gym (until winter arrives and my aversion to cold air forces me into pants. But they were pink too).

1991: I spend most of the year awaiting the birth of my Mom's third child, who is, doubtlessly, going to be Catherine Macaulay. Much to my chagrin, Matthew Macaulay is born that December. I get over it...eventually.

1992-1996: These years involve a lot of bike riding, sleep-overs with my three best friends Tyler, Claire, and Hadley, American Girl books and dolls, jelly shoes, chocolate milk, Spelling Bees, fruit by the foot, and piano lessons. My Dad moves out in the fall of 1996 (but, sneakily, doesn't tell anyone). He continues to stop by for the next four years.

1997: I start Middle School. I run track. I spend a hefty chunk of my baby-sitting money on Bath and Body works products (think old school fragrances: Freesia, Plumeria, and Juniper Breeze). At any given moment, my bedroom smells like eight differently scented air-fresheners have exploded in it. I have my first boyfriend (incidentally, I would marry his older brother eleven years later...true story. Preston's younger brother Tom, who was my year at the boys' school down the street, was my first boyfriend. We went and saw Austin Powers for one of our dates. I'm pretty sure I laughed and pretended I understood the jokes).

1998: Puberty hits. AWKWARD. Also, I see Titanic six times in the theatre. Ten years later, I'm still embarrassed that I did that.

1999: Puberty is still hitting. STILL AWKWARD. Like any good thirteen year old, I bend to peer pressure and decide to be bad ass and Gothic. I wear a lot of black, have no idea how to apply eye-liner (but apply it anyway), buy every possible choker Claire's has to offer, claim that my favorite movie is The Craft (when it is really the Anne of Green Gables series), and dye my hair red with food coloring from my Mom's baking cabinet. I have since hidden all photographic evidence. My Dad gives my Mom his keys to our house.

2000: After my two best friends move away, I am forced to make new friends in the Upper School at St. Catherine's. This is one of the biggest blessings of my life; I meet some friends who are still with me today as I trade my combat boots and sulky attitude for pink hair ribbons and overachievement. I join the Chorale, write for a literary magazine and the school newspaper, am elected to Honor Council, and work every trimester on the Tech Crew at the school's theatre. My parents' divorce is final.

2001: The happiest years of high school for me--my sophomore and junior years. Tom (see 1997), who has since gone away to boarding school, and I go to the Christmas Dance together and become friends (in spite of my callous dumping of him-I made a friend do it-when I was eleven). He takes me up to his family's house in Wintergreen, VA for New Year's Eve where his whole family is celebrating the holiday, including his older brother, Preston, a freshman at Princeton.

2002: I take too many AP classes, am the head of too many organizations, and sleep about four hours a night (this is utterly unfathomable now, six years later, when if I get less than seven hours of sleep in a night I am Bitchy McBitch Bitch all day). I visit Princeton, where Preston shows me around and, at Tom's suggestion, reads through my college application essays as an objective editor. Exactly a year after we met, on New Year's Eve, we snuggle on an old love seat in his parents' basement, watch Gosford Park, make out, and decide to start a long distance relationship.

2003: I am accepted as a Feb at Middlebury College (read about what that means here), sing in final concerts for my three choirs, give a big speech (technically 2002), design the set for our theatre's spring show, and graduate after thirteen years at St. Catherine's. I spend the fall working at an interior design company (read: folding fabric samples and running errands), training for my first 8K, and visiting my friends who are in schools across Virginia (read: being depressed that I'm not in school yet).

2004: I start at Middlebury College, absolutely love it, tell Preston we should take a break (only to get back together with him in a month), and consume heavy amounts of Mike's Hard Lemonade, Natural Light, and Coconut Rum mixed with Diet Coke. In June Preston and I go to Italy on scholarship money and I decide to stop eating. I see beautiful sights, travel all over Italy, and lose fifteen pounds in a month. I spend the rest of the year losing twenty-five more pounds (and my soul) through a combination of anorexia, bulimia, and obsessive exercise. I apply to transfer to the University of Virginia, thinking that my problems will evaporate if I move back home.

2005: I move back to Virginia and my problems don't evaporate. I take the semester off to gain weight, but don't get much healthier. Preston graduates from Princeton in May. We both start at UVA in August of 2005, finally bringing an end to our two and half years of long distance. I rush a sorority that is way too cool for me (and promptly deactivate). My beloved grandfather dies in October. I fall back into anorexia and lose about half of the weight I've gained.

2006: I declare myself as a Classics Major and begin to make friends (very slowly). I slowly gain weight back and begin to enjoy life again. I move into an apartment that I love and paint the whole thing. I paint the kitchen bright red and smile every day because of it. Life gets better. I begin to laugh again.

2007: I fall head over heels in love with UVA--especially the Classics Department. I make friends whom I want to keep for life. Preston and I announce our engagement in March and graduate in May (he with an MA, I with a BA). Preston gets a job offer in Bryn Mawr and we drive up to look for an apartment. We move in August and adopt Callie in October. As I wrote yesterday, she is one of the best decisions I have ever made. Callie brightens our world but dirties our apartment. It is worth it.

2008: My life consists of wedding, wedding, and wedding (and getting accepted to grad school!). What was originally intended to be a small intimate affair has turned into a 200+ person monstrosity. A lovely, elegant monstrosity, but still. We are married in May and I spend the summer recovering by drinking a lot of wine and eating a lot of cheese. And then all of a sudden I realize that SHIT I have to run a half marathon in two weeks so I should probably start running. So I do. I start graduate school and procrastinate like a pro (see: this post). Some things never change.